Purpose

I have been a stay at home mom for almost 8 years now. I never planned on being a stay at home mom, I kinda fell into it. I always thought I would have an important career and do amazing things. Secretly, I wanted to go into politics. Crazy right? Who actually WANTS to do that?! Maybe I've watched a little too much West Wing...no really, I do watch too much West Wing. But ya, politics. I wanted to do things, make a difference, and impact lives. So I never pictured myself being a stay at home mom.

I had this amazing mommy mentor when I had my first 2 babies. She was the epitome of  a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). She cooked, she baked, she cleaned and organized her house. She opened her house up to guests all the time. Hostessing was her spiritual gift. She took care of her girls tirelessly. She even took lunch to them everyday at school (ok, that was over the top but you get the idea). Her job was her home, her family and her kids. She was incredible at it and I never once heard her complain about it. This was her gifting, her life and her legacy to leave for her girls. My mommy mentor went home to be with the Lord about 4 years ago, but boy, the impact she left is still felt to this day.  So when I think about being a SAHM, I measure myself up to her and pretty much every day I miss the mark.

I struggle every day to get kids with shoes on the right feet, clothes that match and prayerfully, sometimes, my kids are bathed! I struggle putting wrinkled clothes away, because they've been sitting in the dryer for 2 days. Well, first they got washed in the washer twice because I forgot, then they sat in the dryer for two days. I struggle keeping up with my dishes. I have to do 2 loads a day to keep up with them...ya that ain't happening. I struggle paying bills on time because paperwork piles up on my table before I realize I didn't pay the bill, then the dreaded pink notice from the water company shows up in the mail.  Forget cleaning my house. I'm lucky if it's picked up. (I've actually resorted to a house cleaner twice a month because it would be a science project around here if I didn't). I grocery shop, plan my meals and then forget to pull out the meat to thaw and we end up eating at the Taqueria. This is me as a SAHM.  If I had to give myself a grade, F being your kids are dying, D being most needs are being met, I am about a C-. I'm just terrible at it. I stumble and fumble my way through it. I try and try and when I finally figure out something, I fail at all the other things. It's a vicious cycle.

So lately, I've been asking God to show me His purpose in all this. To show me the purpose in what I am doing every day. Being a SAHM is not glamorous. It's thankless, it's tiring, IT'S HUMBLING and it's very easy to get caught up in the "I'm useless and without purpose" mode. Especially when you're me and you're not very good at your job. So the other day, He started showing me the reason behind all that I do.
6:45am- I woke up to a FB message that my friend's son was in the hospital for an emergency appendectomy.
7am- I'm eating my breakfast before everyone else does so I can be more available to their needs. (My purpose- to meet someone else's need)
7:30-8:15am- I am feeding children, I am tying shoes, brushing hair, reminding #1 to pack his homework, making sure teeth are brushed, dog is fed and lunches are packed. (Purpose- to help my kids be successful for their day and meet someone else's need)
8:15am- Driving kids to school. (Purpose- how else would my kids get there if I wasn't available?)
8:30am- I am at the drive thru at Starbucks grabbing coffee for my friend in the hospital. (Purpose- If I wasn't a SAHM, I couldn't serve her in this way).
9-10am- I am visiting with my friend in the hospital. (Purpose- If I worked elsewhere, I couldn't do this).
10am-12pm- I grocery shop at 2 different stores for my family. (Purpose- to meet my family's nutritional needs).
12:30-2:30pm- I am home with my napping kids. (Purpose- so my babes are healthily growing and aren't grumpy). I am folding clothes, doing the dishes and forget to pull out the meat for dinner. (My purpose- so my kids have clothes that can be found for school the next day and clean bowls for breakfast).
2:45pm- I am driving to pick up my oldest from school. (Purpose- who else would be able to get him?)
3-4:30pm- I am helping with homework, feeding kids snacks and refereeing fights. (Purpose- helping my kids grow, be successful in school and life).
4:30-5:30pm- I AM AT THE GYM!! (Purpose- FOR MY SANITY)
5:30pm-7:30pm- I am cooking hot dogs because I forgot to thaw my meat for my healthy dinner, refereeing, reminding kids to put backpacks in their bedrooms, pick up socks/shoes, talking to my husband about his day, correcting bad behaviors, remind kids not to yell in the house, supervise son on the Internet for school, feeding kids, picking up after dinner, helping son look for a lost library book, consoling a child who stubbed their toe, putting soccer ball back in soccer bag otherwise it will get lost, moving shoes back to their closet or they will get lost, and finally reminding kids to get ready for bed and dealing with the whines that come with it. (Purpose- too much to go over...mostly because I have to help meet someone else's needs. I have to teach, correct and guide because I am raising kids).
7:30-8:30pm- Chase down the 3 year old with pj's, tell other two to put on pj's, remind kids to brush teeth, help 3 year old with toothpaste, referee fights over the toothpaste, refereeing who gets to sleep in mommy's bed, pray with all 3 kids, allow all 3 kids to pray, remind oldest that farting noises are not appropriate during prayer time, remind 3 year old that farting noises are not appropriate, get water for 3 kids 3 different times, pick up more socks, find blankets and comfort animals, help 3 year old with jammies so he can go potty 3 different times, remind kids to stop talking, kiss and hug all 3 kids 3 different times and finally plop down on the couch! (Purpose- raising my 3 kids and so much more).

And this was just my Monday.

I may not be the best at my job, but thankfully God is allowing me to partner with Him in raising these 3 kids and taking care of my home. I am so not good at it, but God isn't asking me to be good at it. He's asking me to be obedient to the job He's called me into for the season that I am in it. When I asked Him to start showing me purpose, it was as if He was speaking it to me every time I did something. So, if you're like me and you are starting to feel useless and without purpose, ask God to show you His purpose. It may not be "...Because I am preparing you to go into politics..." (You know, in like this awesome booming voice with a flag waving in the background). It might just might be "...Because I need you to be AVAILABLE to help someone else that desperately needs it.." That may not always be a friend in the hospital, it might be 3 little kids who need love, discipline and their physical needs met every day, all the time! Being a Stay at Hom Mom is thankless, not glamorous, humbling and tiring, but FULL of purpose.

Lord,
Thank you for allowing me to partner with you in your purpose for my life and for the lives around me. Help me to stay humble and willing to serve in whatever capacity that might be. Whether it is sock pick up or refereeing fights. God, would you allow me to see Your purpose in all that I do. Thank you for trusting me to do this job. Even though I may not be good at it, God I know your grace is sufficient for me and your power is made perfect in my weakness- 2 Cor. 12:9. Help me to rest in your grace and allow your power to reign over my shortcomings. I love you Lord and I know that you love me.

Love, Reese <3